Monday, January 21, 2013

Ramblings of a married single-mom

I heard you..."say what!", you all say... what kind of oxymoronical mumbo jumbo is this girl spewing...?  I know; I know...but it is true...this past week and almost every second week for the last 3 1/2 years (once 7 weeks in a row) I was and will continue to be a married single-mom...in that I am married but am singular in the parenting...my husband goes to the end of the earth...ok, you got me the end of our province...the top end...where internet is a concept and cell towers are tree tops...and communication is zilch...

Some people think it is difficult and, at first, it is...but we have gotten into a groove of sorts. Now I am "used" to his being gone but find that the biggest hinderance for the kids and I is I need to be cloned...studying, basketball games, drum lessons, work, cleaning, cooking meals...I need a clone...or a wife...Ha ha ha

Thankfully, our children are old enough to help with throwing a load of laundry in and folding it...it may not be folded the way I would do it but it is folded and they have helped and that, my friends, is what is important to us. They are not limited to helping out with laundry...that was just an example that was in the forefront of my brain given that I have a mini mount laundruvious in the midst of activation in my basement as I type.

Having a meal plan has helped - only a lot...and I do admit to the Tuesday work until 4 pm, basketball game until 5 pm, drum lessons at 6:30 pm McDonalds run for supper...I am not ashamed...there is no 'S' on my chest...weeks that BigDaddy is gone we tend to eat a lot of things like grilled cheese, tomato soup, toads-in-a-hole...

But do you know what has really helped...not expecting as much...I have lowered my expectations...If we go to bed at night and there is still a growling mess in the kitchen I have learned to be ok with that...it will be cleaned when we get home the next day or in the morning before school/work...

The biggest thing though is the kids and I work together...we will routinely have mini meetings to say "ok, this is what needs done and by when and how are we breaking this up?". We also make sure that we make time to just have snuggle time with each other. I know it is hard on my kids when their dad is gone...extra snuggle time eases that burden for them ever so slightly...

Anyway, these are simply the ramblings of a married single-mom for today...

3 comments:

  1. Sounds like a beautiful crazy imperfect life of a family :) Glad you are making the arrangement work for your family and it sounds like you and the kids are doing a great job!

    ((hugs))
    Cheryl

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  2. I haven't checked your space for awhile! Looks like I've been missing out. Single married momhood - big challenge. Respecting your team approach, well done. I fear that my boys are not expected to do as much as I thought I'd have them do by now. Must fix that. Thinking of you, and thanks for writing!

    Is there any way to subscribe to this blog? I see "subscribe by email", but is that for comments or the blog?

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  3. I am not sure, Maureen...I think it is for the blog but will have to do some checking into it...

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